Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I Like Square Butts!

No, Sir Mix-a-Lot, you like rectangular paychecks.

Thanks to Burger King’s latest ad campaign, Spongebob and Sir Mix-a-Lot are finally collaborating. I haven’t seen a better promotional team since Coolio and George Jetson tried to sell us Odor Eaters. (Note: That never happened. But with any luck Weird Al will read this and make it happen.)

While I have no problem with Sir Needs-a-Lot’s endorsement choices, I do have a problem addressing him as sir. Really, Mr. Mix-a-Lot? What member of the
British Empire knighted you? What exactly did you contribute to society to earn that title? Sir Isaac Newton formulated the laws of motion. I don’t think writing an early 90’s butt ballad counts as public service.

Baby Got Back
’s been making thicker girls feel better about themselves since Pringles hit the market. It’s like the Spanx of music.

The best lyric of the song – hands down – is, “I wanna get with ya, won’t cuss or hit ya.” (Keep in mind, Sir Mix-a-Lot said this before Chris Brown made it cool.) What an enticing way to get into my pants. Glad you’re not going to physically or verbally abuse me if I agree to sleep with you. Can I call you sometime? Your number still 1-900-MIX-A
LOT? Maybe I can come over and you can bend me over one of those gigantic pieces of ass furniture from your video.


Even white boys got to shout.


  1. I kinda wonder why anyone, except as a joke or satire, would voluntarily associate themselves with the socialogical parasites known as the aristocracy. Actually, isn't there a rule about americans doing that? I believe it's in some rulebook call the Constitution (At the back in one of the appendices, I think).

  2. Oh, so now he's gone an totally diluted the message here by using the same song again to support Butterfinger:


    Pimpin' ain't easy, but whoring out your one and only song is simplicity itself.

    Speaking of Butterfinger: